The transitions into marriage

 Marriage is such an important part of life. It creates loyalty, unity, and love within the family. It promotes stability, security, compromise, conflict resolution, and many more positive attributes. Marriage can be traced back to the beginning of the world. It is the foundation for the basic unit of the family. However, more recently marriage has become less and less common. People are opting for “the single life” or  cohabitation (in other words living together outside the bonds of marriage.)  There are many reasons that we are seeing these current trends. One reason people gave is that “ you lose your individuality when you get married.”  My family relations professor is a family and marriage therapist and has said in his many years of experience he has never once had a couple come in with marital problems and express that concern. Another reason is that people want to “see how they work together.” In my personal opinion, I would want the guarantee of a commitment. When times get hard, I would want to know that somebody was committed to me and couldn’t easily walk out on the relationship.Studies have shown that when people postpone the wedding because of cost they are either less likely to get married or end up having shorter marriages. Another problem that presents itself in cohabitation couples is that when they do finally marry they still live more separate lives. When cohabiting, they have different bank accounts, insurance, and other personal aspects of their lives. Once they get married, they typically continue to keep those lives separate. When people get married first without first cohabiting, they share a closeness in marriage that helps them have a more solid foundation for the rest of their marriage. The cost of the wedding is also a contributing factor to the declining marriage rates. These days it seems like everyone is trying to out wedding each other if you will. People want the most expensive ring or the most extravagant wedding. Studies have actually shown that there is a correlation between successful marriages and the price of the wedding ring vs the amount of attendees at the wedding. The less expensive the ring is and the more guests at the wedding the more likely it is that the marriage will last longer. That is not to say that it is doomed to fail if the wedding is expensive or that a less expensive ring will guarantee a happy marriage. The entire study is how when people care less about the material things and more about the relationships, they are more happy. When we do marry, the wedding should be more focused on the coming marriage than the one day event of the wedding. Have fun at your wedding and celebrate it with those you love but make sure that you are also looking ahead to the marriage. Another problem that has presented itself in our days is the transition from seriously dating to engagement. People are tending to slide into the engagement instead of having more serious define the relationship talks. I have personally had friends who have claimed they had fiance’s when they did not have a ring or a date for the wedding. They claimed their significant other as a fiance when they only had had a brief conversation about marriage. This can lead to miscommunication and possible heart ache if these things are not properly defined. We clearly defined in class that you are not engaged unless you have a ring on your finger and a date for the wedding. I found this to be very good advice.