Finance, Fathers, and Mothers

 These days the role of fathers is being attacked. There is a saying from the sixties that a woman needs a man as much as a fish needs a bicycle. Fathers are viewed as unnecessary in the parenting process.  This is incredibly sad to me. The woman needs the man as much as the man needs the woman.  People are convinced that we need two incomes to support a family. This has become a more popular trend in recent years. However there are more studies showing the negatives of both parents working. One study showed that housing prices went up in neighborhoods and cities where women were working. Another study showed that a family's expenses went up so much that the second income actually hurt their original income. They had to pay for another car, childcare, convenient food, and other expenses. The average second income only ends up really being $1 an hour after all the expenses. This study represents the typical family with a second income. Some people have said that we should wait to get married in our thirties because we will be more stable with our finances. However, it is harder to blend your lives together when you are already established in your ways. People are also less likely to want children because they are comfortable with their lifestyles. 

Even if this isn’t the case financially, we have to consider the costs of what is happening emotionally within the family. We can never underestimate the power of having a parent at home with the children. Children need the most amount of attention and love in their young ages. Women can recognize that better than men can and this is why we say to have the mothers stay at home.  Men and women are built to have different roles. We are blessed with attributes that are specific to our roles. Women have a tendency to draw kids closer while men have a natural tendency to have their children interact with the world around them. Children need both the mother and the father in order to be the best prepared for life. A father and a mother should both be heavily involved in their kids' lives. A mother and father together can cover a lot more territory with their children than if they could if it was just one person doing all the work. 

I have found this to be true in my own life. My mother was a stay at home mom all my life. I felt very close to her and never neglected. My dad is a full time financial adviser and a very successful one. My dad would come home after work and play and mess around with us. My dad would give us these practical life lessons about the world and my mom would teach us how to emotionally handle our problems. It was very well balanced. There was a time where my dad was struggling with his work and needed a secretary so my mom stepped into the position and worked for free so my dad could save money. We found after a few months of my mom away at work had some negative effects on our family. My mom felt like she wasn’t doing something that was more important than being a mother. The kids had a difficult time at school simply for the fact that my mom no longer picked them up from school. My dad found that he felt like he wasn’t able to fully provide for the emotional needs of our family because he was taking my mom away from the home. My dad and mom both decided that the money they were saving was not worth taking my mom away from the home. It was interesting to see the shift our family took once my mom stopped working. Everybody was happier and my parents were actually closer than they were when they were working together. Fathers and mothers both have essential roles in the family. It takes both of them together to create the best family environment possible.