Parenting

         Hey everybody! This week I will be talking about parenting! Good parenting is becoming less and less common while its demand in society is going up. It is so essential to our society. If children can be raised right in a good home then they will have a greater chance of continuing that cycle. Mother Teresa said that if we want to change the world, we have to start with the home. If we can improve the home life and parenting styles then we truly can change the world. Nobody will be perfect at it, but we can do everything we can to do our best.

 A common misconception of good parenting is that you are doing it right when your child obeys you. However, this is not the case. In order to find what good parenting entails, we have to first look at what the purpose of parenting is. My personal definition of the purpose of parenting is to love and support a child and give them an example to follow in the real world. One definition that I found very helpful was to protect and prepare our children to survive and thrive in the world in which they will live. I love this definition. The word thrive really stuck out to me as I read this. We should not only teach our children how to survive(like cooking, working, cleaning, building, etc) but to thrive! Or in other words do it well and joyfully. Parenting isn’t just about making sure our kids are alive but that they are alive and well. In order for our kids to be able to “survive and thrive” there are a few qualities that have proven to be helpful. The first one is respect for others, themselves, and property. This is an important skill that will benefit themselves and those around them. The next one is cooperation with others. They will need this to be able to work with those around them in the future. And the last one is response ability. Now I purposely spell that one wrong because when we typically think of responsibility we think of how mature a person is. That will come in time with kids. We are talking about their ability to respond to situations in an appropriate manner. When we can teach our children these specific skills, they will be much better prepared for how to handle the real world and how to thrive in it. 

  When dealing with problems, a lot of the time, parents will wait until the problem happens and then react to it. This is actually not the best way to help your kids learn. There is a model of how dealing with issues should be handled. The first question you have to ask is who owns the problem. Not who caused the problem but who is influenced by it. If it is only the child who is influenced by the issue then letting the child deal with the natural consequences is the best way to go. For instance, if a child forgets his jacket that day it is better for him to realize that he will be cold all day if he forgets in again. If the parent brings the child's jacket to him at school, that is not letting the child understand anything. There are exceptions to this rule. If the natural consequences are dangerous, harmful to others, or the consequences are very long term then it is appropriate to step in. On the other hand if it is only the parent influenced by the problem then there are a few steps to follow. The first one is a polite request. If the request is not met then say an “I feel” statement. If still not met you have to ask a little firmer. If still not met a logical consequence should follow. 

These strategies will help parents let their children have room for growth while also still being a parent. Another effective strategy is having open communication with your children. Involve them in the process of making decisions especially when it comes to their own consequences. This will help them learn to do things on their own while also respecting authority.